


The Last Beat of My Heart

by droidfucker



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: 80s AU, 80s Goth Kylo Ren, Ace Lesbian Rey, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, BDSM, Based loosely on Pretty In Pink, Bisexual Finn, Bruising, Business Man Hux, Choking, F/F, Gay Hux, Gay Kylo Ren, Gay Poe Dameron, Hux Has Issues, Hux is rich, Internalised Homophobia, Kylo is not so rich, Lesbian Phasma, M/M, Masturbation, Not Actually Unrequited, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Sexism, Punk Phasma, Restraints, Single Dad Han, Slight Age Difference, Smut, Student Kylo Ren, Sugar Daddy Hux, homphobic language, mentioned child abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-14 02:30:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7149017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/droidfucker/pseuds/droidfucker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren has worked a at a record shop for a woman named Phasma for the past two years, getting to know her and her unfairly attractive business man house-mate. For the past two years he's been crushing on the man who doesn't seem to acknowledge his existence until one day, something breaks and they end up sleeping together. Hux isn't the man for long term relationships and Ren is kind of head over heels for him. It can't possibly get any worse, can it?</p><p>(Not actually unrequited)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Ren shifted about his small, overcrowded room looking to put together some ensemble decent enough for him to go out to school in. He pushed away stray bits of fabrics clumsily with his feet so he could make his way to the closet on the other side of the room. As he pulled it open, it creaked in protest and he let out an annoyed huff before flicking through the rack of frayed and hand-me down clothes with the occasional odd-looking piece of clothing Ren had attempted to create himself; he still hadn’t gotten sewing quite right and made a mental note to get help from Phasma the next time he made the attempt. Pulling an old black turtle neck from the confines of his closet along with a pair of overalls that Phasma had given to him which he had decidedly dyed black which was, surprisingly, less of a failure than his experiments with a sewing machine. After changing into the clothes that hung off of his frame slightly – he was still a little shorter than Phasma – he closed the closet door and looked into the dirty mirror that hung upon it. Carefully, Ren painted his full lips red and took his time applying a small amount of eye make-up around his deep brown eyes. Once finished, he made his way downstairs, deciding to leave his mess of black curls the way it was – besides Phasma had always told him that his unruly hair was attractive.

“Dad! Wake up! It’s seven-thirty!” Ren called as he bounded down the rickety stairs that creaked and groaned with every step. He sighed when he received no response, “Dad!” He called again, walking through the kitchen and putting on the coffee maker for his father before pushing his way into his room with an annoyed sound, stomping over to the window and opening the stained blinds to allow some sun into the dark room. His dad had always had problems getting up since Ren’s mother had left them, he hadn’t even gotten a job and he spent most of his time in bed or drinking and, as much as Ren loved his dad, it was getting ridiculous. Ren cleared his throat as he sat down at the edge of his father’s bed, nudging him hard, “Wake up,” he said sharply, his shoulders dropping in relief when he finally began to stir, waking up with a displeased grunt and sitting up slowly.

“I put the coffee on,” Ren commented, resisting the urge to roll his eyes when his father only grunted in response, “You should shower, you have that job interview later,” He commented as he looked around the messy room.

“I know,” Han grumbled, not sounding at all enthusiastic about the idea of a job interview. It didn’t surprise Ren in the slightest.

“You promised,” Ren reminded sharply as he looked back at his dad, a stern look on his face. He would not be happy if his dad skipped out on yet another job interview. He wouldn’t be shocked, but he would be disappointed.

“Stop nagging me, kid,” Han muttered as he shifted back on his pillows, huffing out a laugh when he earned an eye-roll from his son, “You’ve been gettin’ in pretty late, I haven’t had a chance to talk to you.”

“Its fine, I’ve just been working,” Ren assured his dad as he pushed hair off of his face, looking out the window as he shifted awkwardly on the bed. He hated these uncomfortable conversations with his dad and did his best to avoid them at all cost.

“Yeah? How’re you? How’s school? Is school good?” Han asked.

“No, but it’s always crap anyway,” Ren said with a roll of his eyes, wishing his dad would just drop the conversation and get up already.

“You ask anyone to prom yet?”

“ _No,”_ Ren said sternly as he stood up, “Just get _up,_ dad,” He said exasperatedly as he made his way out of his dad’s bedroom, “I’m gonna be late for school.” He grumbled, earning a gruff laugh from his father.

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes again – honestly he was going to strain the muscles in his eyes if it keeps going on like that – Ren sat down and shoved on worn black Doc Martins that had a slightly hole forming at the toe of them and frayed laces which he desperately tried to ignore. He bought them second-hand from some thrift shop, it wasn’t surprising they were falling apart, but he certainly could not afford a new pair of boots any time soon. Unless, of course, his father decided not to blow off the job interview and actually started to work instead of lying in bed drunk on alcohol Ren’s pay-check paid for.

He took a deep breath, standing up and grabbing his car keys from the coffee table before pushing his way out of the front door, making his way towards his car. His car was a 1978 AMC Concord his father had bought him for his eighteenth birthday with money his mother had sent them for ‘child support’. It was too small for Ren who was pushing six foot three and was an ugly brown colour but it was the best they could afford, as he turned the key in the ignition he had to press the rewind button on the cassette player because, for some fucking reason, it wouldn’t start otherwise. As the crappy car finally began to start, Ren let out a relieved sigh, there was no way he could afford to get the car fixed any time soon so he supposed he should appreciate that the car was simply quirky.

Walking up the stairs of the school, Ren stayed out of the way of people and hurried towards his locker, needing to take out a few books before heading to class. Humming slightly to himself, he put in the combination and pulled the locker open albeit a tad too hard, causing a couple students to flinch and a blush to make its way up to Ren’s cheeks before focusing back on the contents of his locker.

Once he’d managed to take all of his books out he was met with his best friend, Poe Dameron, waiting for him and leaning against the locker making Ren feel slightly more normal. Poe’s appearance was similar to his own, though he hadn’t dressed as dark. He wore round sunglasses along with an old brown leather jacket that Ren knew had belonged to his father before he passed. His jeans were old hand-me downs from his Foster siblings and his shirt was just as ragged as Ren’s overalls.

“Hi, Poe,” Ren said with a small smile on his lips, gesturing for the other boy to walk along with him to class. They had been best friends for as long as they could remember, Leia had been good friends with the Damerons before they passed away and they had practically grown up together. They went through everything together, coming out to each other and even when Poe had had an awkward crush on Ren Freshman year. “Are you gonna go to class today?” He asked in a teasing tone as they walked together, weaving through the other students and having to speak loudly over their chatter.

“Hmm, not sure I’m ready for that,” Poe joked with a small smirk, his hands shoved in his pockets.

“I’m sure it’ll be painless. Y’know… If _Finn’s_ there.” Ren retorted as he quirked a brow at his friend suggestively, a ghost of a satisfied smirk slipping onto his lips as he watched a blush bloom its way up to Poe’s cheeks. Just as the other boy was about to respond, the bell chimed loudly throughout the corridor signalling that it was time for class, “Sorry, I have to go, I’ll see you at lunch.” He said quickly before weaving awkwardly through the other students and leaving Poe behind.

“I’ll go make reservations at the cafeteria then! Two by the window good?” Poe called back to Ren, causing him to huff out a laugh and shake his head in disbelief as he bit back a smile. His friend was a complete _dork._

At the end of the day Ren was quick to make his way to his car, his last class of the day running over and causing him to already be running late for work. He had to bite back an annoyed groan when he saw Snoke standing by his car, leaning against the driver’s door and making it impossible for Ren to get into the car without talking to him.

“Ren, you look beautiful as always,” Snoke purred in a tone that made Ren’s skin crawl and his body tense.

“Snoke, move, I need to get into my car I’m running late,” Ren said sternly as he pulled his books closer to his chest anxiously.

“Y’know, we graduate soon and I was wondering… When are you finally gonna let me bed you?” Snoke asked casually, as if it was his basic human right to sleep with every queer boy in the school.

“How about never?” Ren retorted as he pulled his keys from his pocket and attempted to shove the other boy to the side so he could unlock his car. He was _not_ in the mood.

“Y’know, I’ve liked you for years and you still treat me like shit,” Snoke said as Ren pulled the door open and caused him to stumble away from the car.

“That’s because you are shit, Snoke.” Ren said as he rolled his eyes and slipped into his car, slamming the door shut and causing the old car to rattle the slightest. He took a moment to breathe, knowing that if he didn’t he would try to run Snoke over and being put in jail before graduation was not the best idea.

At work, Ren sat behind the desk of the record shop sketching in an old notebook, Reckless Records, as named by his boss; Phasma who was stood in her six inch heels putting up a new poster on the other side of the shop. She was a very intimidating woman, already six foot three without her heels on and ready to kick anyone’s ass who looked at her the wrong way. Ren really admired her, in a time where being openly gay was seen as taboo Phasma went to Pride parades and protested outside any homophobic asshole’s house. She’d even told Ren stories about the times she’d been arrested for it, back in England, where she used to live, as well as in the US. She was kind of like a surrogate mother to Ren, now that he hadn’t a mother to talk to and his father was too awkward to hold a conversation with, especially when it came to things like dating.

“Hey, Phas,” He called over to her, the shop empty save a couple of boys who were most likely freshmen - Ren could vaguely recognise their faces, “Did you go your prom?” He asked curiously, tapping his pencil against his sketchpad absentmindedly.

Phasma nodded slightly to herself, “Yeah, I did,” She said with a small smile, looking over at Ren, “I went with Hux.” She said with a small huff of laughter.

Ren smiled at that thought. He knew Hux, he came in from time to time to buy records or pick Phasma up from work. The two were housemates and moved to the US together, Hux was some big shot businessman which was impressive seeing as the guy was only twenty one years old and, maybe, Ren was harbouring a _bit_ of a crush on the slightly older man but really who could blame him? He halted his thoughts on Hux quickly, reminding himself that he was in the middle of a conversation with his boss. “Was it awful?”

“It was the worst,” Phasma said honestly, “I would’ve preferred to have gone with a girl but y’know… Thatcher.” She went on, wrinkling her nose. Ren knew little about British politics but he did know that the Prime Minister was homophobic because that was _all_ Phasma talked about whenever the topic of politics came up.

He hummed slightly, glaring at a kid who gawked when Phasma mentioned the idea of taking a girl to prom, causing him to flinch and look away from their conversation. “I mean, part of me wants to go and get it over with but another part of me wants to blow off the whole thing,” Ren said with a small sigh, leaning back in his chair.

“I’d go if I were you,” Phasma said honestly, “And if you don’t like it, you can leave,” She added, walking over to Ren and sitting down next to him, giving his shoulder a slight reassuring squeeze, “I just don’t want you to… Not go and then regret it.”

Ren nodded slowly in understanding, he supposed that maybe Phasma was right… He could go to the dance with Poe, knowing he wouldn’t have the guts to ask Hux to go with him. He would, no doubt, laugh in his face before telling him that he would never want to be caught dead with him.

As soon as that thought had crossed his mind, the bell chimed signalling another customer entering the shop causing Ren to jolt in surprise in his seat and turn to face the person who had entered. As he caught site of red hair his breath caught in the back of his throat and it took all he had not to fall off of his chair.

The person, of course, was Hux and Ren was _not_ expecting him to show up at the shop until much later. He leaned against the counter, all long legs and perfectly combed red hair with a suit that fit him perfectly and caused Ren’s mouth to water. He was attractive, unbelievably so, and Ren believed that he could actually cut himself on the man’s cheekbones. He briefly watched Hux and Phasma talk, taking in the older man’s appearance and flushing deeply when he was caught – bright green eyes meeting his own with a curious expression. He was probably wondering why the hell Ren was staring, though it was a common occurrence, the younger boy couldn’t help but stare whenever he had the chance even if he wasn’t confident enough to make a move and knew very well that Hux would never bother with someone like him. Ren bit back a dreamy sigh as Hux walked away to look at records, leaning against the counter as he watched him from behind.  

“Stop drooling, Ren,” Phasma chided teasingly, smirking when Ren shot a glare at her as his cheeks began to heat up.

“I’m not _drooling,”_ He grumbled with a roll of his eyes, looking back down at his sketchbook and going back to his drawing as he tried to will away any thoughts about how well fitted the suit pants were on Hux’s _amazing_ ass.

Silence slowly passed throughout the shop and Phasma had decided to go out for a smoke, leaving Ren in charge of the shop while she left and also leaving him alone in the shop with _Hux -_ He could have sworn she had done it on purpose just to mess with him.

“Ren,” A voice interrupted from in front of the counter, startling Ren from his thoughts and causing him to drop his pencil onto the ground.

“Shit,” Ren cursed as he bent down to pick it up quickly, snatching it from the ground, and sitting back up with flushed cheeks and a bewildered expression, “Oh, hi, Hux.” He managed breathlessly when he finally made eye contact with the man who had interrupted his thoughts.

To Ren’s surprise, Hux smiled at him almost fondly, “Hello,” He said in that clipped British accent of his that made the younger man weak in the knees thanking God that he was sitting down.

“Can I… Help you?” Ren asked hesitantly, putting his sketchbook down on the counter infront of him and leaning on it with his elbows as he looked up at Hux.

“I- Yeah,” Hux decided with a nod, “Yes,” He added in a more professional tone, “What do you recommend?”

Ren’s eyes widened slightly at that, bit his bottom lip, clearly taken off guard by the question. Hux rarely spoke to him, let alone asked him for record suggestions. He almost missed when the other man’s eyes seemed to flicker down to his lips on their own accord, “What do I recommend?” He asked slowly, clarifying that he had not hallucinated and this was an actual thing that was happening to him. “Well, Um… Gentlemen Take Palaroid’s by Japan? Or maybe…. Kings of the Wild Frontier by Adam and the Ants?” He suggested, knowing it wasn’t really Hux’s type of music. He had asked for Ren’s recommendation after all.

Hux just nodded at the recommendations before heading off towards the records once more, leaving a perplexed Ren sitting behind the counter watching him with a look of confusion especially when he returned not two minutes later with two records in his hand, placing them on the counter.

“You’re getting both of them?” Ren asked, looking from the records back at Hux with his brows furrowed as he tried understand what the _hell_ was going on. He bit back a sigh when the other man just simply nodded. Frustrating. Hot, but unbelievably frustrating. “Cash or charge?” He asked as he totalled the prices.

“Cash,” Hux responded as he took out his wallet, handing Ren a twenty before picking up the two records from the counter, “You can keep the change,” He brushed off before sweeping towards the door.

Ren gaped slightly in both shock and confusion, “Wait, aren’t you picking up Phasma?” He called back to Hux, still holding the folded dollar bill in his hand.

Hux simply let out a small laugh that sent a shiver up Ren’s spine and made his knees feel weak, “No, Ren, Phasma has a date tonight.” He called back before slipping out the door without another word.

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Hux's internalised homophobic thoughts, implied mention of child abuse, masturbation

As Ren and Phasma locked up the record shop Ren couldn’t help but let his thoughts drift back towards Hux. Sure, he’d shown up at the shop to buy records before but he never asked for Ren’s opinion and he had always assumed Hux’s music taste was the polar opposite of his own. Silently, he hoped that the redhead wouldn’t be too offended or disgusted by the records he had recorded. It was hard to know what reaction he would have, Ren didn’t actually know much about him, only what Phasma talked about when she was drunk and angry at him for something ridiculous – like throwing out her girlfriends in the morning.

Quickly, Ren pulled himself from his thoughts as Phasma pulled her keys from the shop door. He cleared his throat, shifting as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his overalls. “So, Phasma, when’s your date?” He asked curiously, silently hoping it would be later so he would have at least _some_ time to talk to her about Hux. Bottling up his feelings was not a good idea, he’d already learned that the hard way.

Phasma snorted slightly in what Ren could only assume was amusement, shoving the keys into her back pocket lazily and definitely not the amount of care she should take with the keys to her own shop. “My date was yesterday, who told you it was today?” She asked, gesturing with her head for Ren to follow her down the street, a smirk curling on her lips at the look of confusion that spread on the boy’s face as her heels clicked against the concrete.

“Hux,” Ren responded, dragging his feet slightly as he followed her, “When he was in today, asked me to recommend him some records… When I asked if he was here to pick you up he said you had a date,” He explained, looking at Phasma as he awaited her response.

“Maybe he mixed up the dates,” Phasma reasoned, though her usual ‘cool’ moniker cracking into what looked like confusion, though Ren had always had a hard time reading Phasma. “What did you recommend to him?”

Ren scratched the back of his neck as he chewed his bottom lip, “I-Uh… Gentlemen Take Polaroid’s and Kings of the Wild Frontier,” He muttered as he silently hoped he made the right choice in recommending those records to Hux. Phasma would know if he made a mistake and Ren wasn’t entirely sure if he was ready to know how badly he failed.

“Interesting,” Phasma responded with a hum as she took a packet of cigarettes from the pockets of her leather jacket, the zippers and badges rattling along with every step she took. Internally, Ren wondered if she would actually be able to sneak up on anyone wearing such an outfit; but then he wasn’t much different when it came to fashion – most of his clothes were her hand-me-downs.

“Interesting?” Ren asked, sounding impatient, “Is that all?”

“Why do you care so much, Ren?” She spoke as she allowed smoke spill from her lips into the night air, leading Ren towards a bar he definitely was not old enough to get into.

Ren’s cheeks burned slightly as he kept his gaze forward, pulling his eyes away from the cigarette that hung loosely between Phasma’s fingers. He’d quit for a reason, he couldn’t afford to keep smoking when the water bill for the house had gone up. Damn, Poe staying over and using all of the hot water.

“I just didn’t want to recommend him something lame,” Ren mumbled with a shrug of his shoulders, shoving his hands back in his pockets.

“And why on earth would you care what he thi-“ She cut herself off as she turned her head to look at Ren, noticing the red flush in his cheeks, an almost feral smirk curling on her lips. “You _like_ him,” She accused him.

“Of course I like him, Phasma. We’re… Acquaintances,” Ren scoffed with a roll of his eyes as they stepped into the club.

Dopheld Mitaka was manning the door and he never could say no to Phasma, even when she insisted Ren – a minor – could come into the bar with a promise that she wouldn’t allow the young boy to drink anything.

“No, no. You _like like_ him,” She insisted, stilling smoking as she weaved her way through to the bar to order herself and Ren a drink. Mitaka didn’t have to know.

“That’s so adolescent, Phas. Aren’t you supposed to be an adult,” Ren accused as he followed her through the crowd. “Anyway, you know I find him attractive. Who doesn’t?”

“I don’t,” Phasma reasoned, pulling cash from her purse as she paid the bartender.

“That doesn’t count, you like girls,” Ren retorted, thanking the bartender as he slid a beer towards him.

“Hey, hey, I can still appreciate the male physique,” She chided as she brought the glass of some fancy mixed drink to her lips and sipped. Phasma always looked amazing, Goddess-like even, and Ren was certain if he were straight she would be the type of girl he would date.

“ _Whatever,”_ Ren huffed as he sat up onto the bar stool, a moment of silence passing between the two of them, “Okay, maybe I do like him.”

Phasma snorted, “No shit,” She muttered, leaning against the bar as she looked over at Ren with a shit-eating grin.

“Not helping, Phas,” Ren muttered before taking a long swig of his beer. It tasted horrible but it was cheap so he pretended to like it. He knew if he complained Phasma would spend more money on him and get some fancy ass fruit drink and that was the last thing he wanted.

“Why don’t you ask him out? I mean, what’s the worst that could happ-”

“He could say no!” Ren retorted before she could even finish her sentence, looking at her as if she had grown a second head. Taking a deep breath, he lowered his voice back down to indoor level, “And you know him, Phas, he would say no.” He added, staring down at his beer as he worried his bottom lip.

It was pathetic of him to be mooning over a guy three years older than him, a fucking _business man_ as well. If Poe found out he’d laugh right in his face. They were supposed to hate guys like Hux, guys who looked down at them because their clothes didn’t fit perfectly or were made from scratch. Guys who thought that they were dirty and didn’t appreciate the things they had half as much as Ren would. But Hux wasn’t like that, he wasn’t like any of them, Ren was sure of that.

“Well, you could sit around and mope about it but there’s no point in feeling sorry for yourself if you didn’t even try,” Phasma reasoned before downing her drink and quickly ordering another. It took a lot to get her drunk. She could drink men under the table if she wanted to, and she had. “I mean, it’s not like he hates you… He _talked_ to you. He doesn’t really talk to anyone unless he deems them worthy of his breath.” She added in a light tone.

“I’m not feeling sorry for myself,” Ren shot back defensively as he fiddled with his beer bottle, glancing at Phasma who fixed him with a look that said ‘really?’ and caused the young boy to roll his eyes. “But okay, fine. I’ll stop _moping…_ But after this drink I have to go home.” He added sternly.

He didn’t go home after that drink.

Phasma had somehow convinced Ren to stay for a couple more beers before he had finally pulled himself out of the bar and made his way back home. Sure, he wasn’t completely sober when he drove back to his small house but he managed to make his way there in one piece.

Pushing hard on the door as he unlocked it and letting out a small ‘ooft’ as it opened, Ren clambered his way into the house and had to bite back a disappointed sigh at the sight of his father laying on the couch fast asleep in the same pyjamas he had had on in the morning. Honestly, Ren shouldn’t have been surprised. He hadn’t a clue why he thought his father would actually get up and go to the job interview he had set up for him – this was always how it went, ever since his mother had left them.

After pulling off his boots, Ren managed to stumble over to his father without waking him up and carefully place a blanket over his sleeping form. He swallowed around the lump forming in his throat at the stench of alcohol pouring off of him before ripping himself away and heading up the rickety stairs to get to his room. He didn’t care if he was too loud, he had no doubt that his father would not wake up in his state but he tried hard not to think about it. Disappointment wasn’t a new feeling.

He pulled himself into the bathroom to wash away the make-up on his face, a futile attempt at trying to combat the risk of panda eyes in the morning. It always happened, Ren couldn’t afford fancy make-up wipes and he didn’t want to go begging Phasma for some. She already gave him too much. Tying his hair in a bun, he stripped down to his boxers and clambered his way to his bedroom and into the off-white sheets of his bed.

It always took Ren hours to fall asleep; the stress of money and school weighing down on his shoulders giving him intense headaches. Whenever he managed to finally fall asleep he was welcomed by nightmares, it was very rare that he ever had a dream that hadn’t caused him to wake up covered in sweat with fresh tears on his cheeks.

On the other side of town, in a lavish house, Phasma threw her house keys into the bowl that Hux insisted they keep on a small table beside the door. “I’m home!” She called out, pulling off her leather jacket and hanging it up on the coat rack - another feature that Hux added in. Admittedly, Phasma would have much preferred a small flat than such a large house in a neighbourhood that looked at her as if she had murdered someone whenever she walks home with a date. But Hux had insisted and she was his best friend, so she gave in.

“How was your date?” Hux asked from where he sat on the couch, a glass of red wine in his hand as Phasma walked in. His nose wrinkled at the sound of her heels clicking against the marble floors and before he could open his mouth, Phasma was already rolling her eyes and pulling off her high heeled boots.

“My _date_ was yesterday,” She corrected him, placing her shoes to the side and making a mental note to put them in their designated shoe closet before heading to her room. “I was out with Ren.”

“Oh?” Hux asked, his eyebrow raised at the sound of Ren’s name but he quickly caught himself. He schooled his expression, turning it into more of a look of disinterest, “How was that?”

Phasma snorted slightly as she took the empty glass from the table and pouring herself a glass of wine, “Good, he told me you talked him in the shop today,” She commented, attempting to sound casual but failing, the suggestiveness slipping through in the way she spoke.

“I did,” Hux confirmed, sipping his wine and avoiding eye contact with Phasma.

Short answers. She could tell he was attempting to hide something from her.

“He said you asked for record recommendations. You _never_ ask for recommendations and you _never_ stray away from your usual music tastes,” Phasma accused him with a pointedly, leaning back against their soft couch, the pillows dipping along with her.

“I don’t have a clue of what point you’re trying to make here, Phasma. He’s your friend and I suppose I should begin to get used to his presence, that’s all. I was trying to be _nice.”_ Hux responded almost immediately, clearly defensive.

“Being nice doesn’t require buying a record that he recommends,” She sang to him, ruffling his carefully combed hair out of place and earning a glare from her friend.

“I didn’t buy a record,” Hux muttered as he tried to push his hair back into place, “I bought two,” He added quietly as his hands dropped to his sides in defeat. Defeated by both his hair and Phasma who would not relent in her questioning.

“You bought both of the records?”

Hux nodded in answer to Phasma’s question.

“Just because he asked?”

Another nod. Hux was beginning to look guilty, staring down at the wine in his glass with a slight frown on his lips.

“And you’re not going to make a move?” She asked, trying to encourage him but she knew what his answer would be. It was always the same.

“What move is there to make, Phas? It’s not like that,” Hux insisted, wrinkling his nose as if he was disgusted by the suggestion that he would interested in pursuing Ren in any way, “I’m not _gay_ and he’s a child.”

“He’s eighteen. Legally, he’s an adult,” She corrected with a roll of her eyes, trying to ignore the way that he seemed disgusted by the suggestion that he was gay.

 She knew he was repressed, she knew all about Hux’s father’s homophobic bullshit, but there was no denying the men that left the house in the middle of the night after one of Hux’s nights out that he insisted he go alone. It wasn’t as though Phasma wasn’t trying to encourage him to embrace that side of himself, but it was hard, luckily he had no problems with others being gay.

“And he’s gay,” She added, glancing over at Hux before downing the glass of wine and placing it back down on the ridiculous coasters that he’d bought for the house. “Just so you know.” She murmured, picking her boots up as she stood, walking over to her bedroom to allow Hux to think her suggestion over.

Hux sat in the couch, his back straight as he downed the rest of his wine in the hopes that it would rid any thoughts of Ren that Phasma had decided to plant in his mind.

It didn’t work. Hux was plagued with thoughts of the raven haired boy even as he slipped into the shower, warm water sliding over his pale, freckled skin as his mind wandered towards un-pure thoughts; of Ren on his knees before him, Ren with his beautiful full lips wrapped around his cock. The thought of bruising Ren, leaving marks all over his pale skin for everyone to see, was all too tempting and Hux found his hand wandering down his chest towards his own hardening cock.

As he wrapped his hand around his shaft he let his mind drift further into his fantasy; Ren’s wrists tied up to the headboard of his large bed, Hux fucking into his tight heat. But he wouldn’t touch Ren’s cock, he’d make him come from his cock and his cock only. Hux would praise him, he could sense that Ren would like that – eager to be a good boy for him. He wondered briefly if the boy would like to be choked, how far would he go just to please Hux?

He bit his bottom lip hard in an attempt to stifle his moans, his head falling back against the shower wall as he stroked himself to the thought of fucking Ren into his mattress. Warmth pooled in his gut as he felt his release getting close and it wasn’t long before he came with Ren’s name spilling from his lips like a prayer, his head tilted back and his mouth parted open as soft pants escaped his lips.

It didn’t take long for the guilt to wash over him as he watched the water wash away his release down the shower drain. He shouldn’t have done that. Ren was only eighteen and he was a _man._ His father would be turning in his grave if he knew of Hux’s thoughts towards Ren, towards men in general. If he’d found out about Hux’s… Experiments in high school and university he would have murdered him.

Hux was disgusted with himself.

His jaw clenched as he swallowed thickly, reaching to turn the shower off as he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist before heading from the En Suite to his bedroom swiftly. Hux dropped the towel from around his waist before climbing into his soft bed and pulling the silks sheets around himself. Desperately, he tried to fight off all thoughts of Ren. His mind berating him whenever the thought of the young man entered his mind. The voice in his mind always sounded like his father. Always, and it made him feel terribly ill.

It took hours for sleep to finally claim him, his dreams plagued with nightmares of his father finding out about his sinful thoughts about Ren. He’d wished he’d never fallen asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the new chapter~ this is my first time uploading smut so I hope it was done okay?   
> again if you wanna talk about the fic or kylux in general my twitter is droidfucker and my tumblr is renamidala~


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: some minor violence and smut (and hux is slightly tipsy during it)

In the morning, Ren had slept through his alarm and only had ten minutes to get ready for school. He quickly pulled himself from the confines of his duvet and reluctantly began to get dressed, his feet dragging as he walked around his room in search of something comfortable to wear. Eventually, he settled on a pair of loose black jeans and a black pull-over hoodie. His head pounding and his body aching from his time out with Phasma which, admittedly, was a bad idea but it did seem rather tempting at the time. It was good to finally admit to someone how he felt about Hux, bottling up his feelings wasn’t exactly doing him any favours and it just ended up frustrating him. Lazily, he pulled his hair up into a loose bun and decided not to bother with any sort of make-up. He had perfect attendance, he didn’t want to ruin that for the sake of putting some lipstick on.

“Dad, wake up,” Ren chimed tiredly, his voice slightly hoarse as he walked down the rickety stairs.

Once downstairs, he almost fell over in shock at the sight of his father already sitting at their small wobbly dining table, which probably needed fixing. He was sat in front of a plate that had _actual_ breakfast his dad seemed to have made himself.

“Oh, you’re up,” Ren said slowly as he through the kitchen to get to his boots.

“Yeah,” His father called back as he watched Ren pass him, “Well, I gotta start getting up early. I got the job after all,”

Ren swallowed thickly as he tried to ignore that blatant lie, “Really?” He manage as he sat down to tie up the laces on his boots, giving his dad a look, “That’s… Good,” He mumbled.

“You want some breakfast, kid?” His father asked, gesturing with a slight movement of his head towards the pans that had a couple of fried eggs on them.

“No, I’m good,” Ren muttered as he finished tying up his boots, grabbing his car keys from the table and shoving them into his hoodie pockets.

His father’s eyebrows furrowed as he watched Ren, “Something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong,” Ren managed, trying desperately to bite back a bitter laugh, “I’m just late for school, I should go,” He added quickly, getting out of the kitchen as quick as he could and making sure to grab his bag on the way out.

As he slipped into the car, slamming the door shut behind himself, he tried to calm himself down. Maybe his dad had actually got the job and just had something to drink to celebrate? He nodded to himself, trying to believe that it was true as he started the car up and began the mundane task of driving himself to school with the radio turned up high in an attempt to drown out his thoughts.

Pulling up the front of the school, Ren rushed out of the car – almost forgetting to shut the door behind himself - and through the double doors that lead into the building just as the bell rang for first period. Ren rushed pass Poe, having no time to grab books from his lockers or stop and chat with his best friend and immediately made his way to class.

When it finally got to his lunch break, Ren was able to talk to Poe who had saved them their usual seat by the window of the cafeteria. With a small sigh, he sat himself down and rummaged through his bag to find his food, cursing when he remembered he hadn’t had the time to make a bagged lunch the night before due to hanging out with Phasma. Fantastic. With a groan, Ren whacked his head on the lunch table without even saying so much as a hello to Poe, or the other two additions to their table he hadn’t noticed.

“Forget your lunch again, Ren?” Poe asked curiously, from across the table. Clearly he made the connection with the fact that Ren was running late, and the fact that it was pretty much an on-going occurrence.

Reluctantly, Ren lifted his head up and rested his chin on the cold table, “Maybe,” He grumbled, his eyes flickering to Finn who was sat next to Poe, wearing some green sweater with a button up underneath and his thick rimmed glasses.

Poe rolled his eyes in response and slid across an extra brown paper bag, “I called you last night, Han said you were out so I assumed…” He trailed off before shrugging, figuring he hadn’t really needed to explain himself.

“Thanks,” Ren breathed out, opening the paper bag and taking out his contents before the figure sitting next to him cleared her throat. “Hi, Rey,” He added as he looked over at her with a bored expression. His cousin was a freshman and insisted she sit with them during lunch since, apparently, she didn’t have any other friends.

“That’s no way to treat your cousin,” Rey chimed, causing Ren to wince and tense as he opened his bottle of orange juice.

Rey was, in contrast to Ren, way too bright and cheery for his taste. Somehow, his uncle had managed to raise someone somehow more optimistic and cheerful than himself. It was ridiculous. Not only did their personalities clash but Rey wore pastels and whites, sometimes floral patterns, and her clothes didn’t look like hand-me downs or rags; Uncle Luke was able to afford to buy her new clothes. After all, not only did she have Luke but she also had a mom, who was still around even after the divorce, and a second dad – some guy named Wedge Antilles that his uncle had started to date after he came out. It wasn’t fair and Ren’s father must have agreed because the two hadn’t had any contact with Luke since Ren’s mom ditched them.

Today Rey was wearing a pristine white skirt that went down to just below her knees and a pink sweater that she had rolled up to her elbows, her hair was tied up in some form of a ribbon and she wore white high heels on her feet that didn’t even seem to have scuff marks on them.

Ren refused to let himself grow jealous again.

“I’m not in the mood, Rey,” Ren said with an exasperated expression before looking back at his food, feeling his stomach churn. He wasn’t hungry either, but he’d feel bad after Poe had gone to the effort of making him something.

“Boy trouble?” Poe asked and Ren didn’t miss the glance over at Finn who was innocently eating a sandwich.

Ren snorted, “With what boy?” He retorted. He hadn’t told anyone about Hux. Well, anyone but Phasma, and he intended on keeping it that way.

There was a pause where Ren thought Poe was going to drop the subject but the peace was broken with the question, “Snoke?”

The question, of course, had to come out of nowhere whilst Ren was sipping his orange juice which caused him to almost choke on the liquid.

Quickly, Ren composed himself, “It is _not_ Snoke,” He managed, tightly, still struggling to breathe properly. He tried to ignore the obvious relief in Poe’s expression at Ren’s reassurance. They were supposed to hate ‘richies’ like Snoke; they weren’t supposed to crush on them or, worse, sleep with them. He chewed at his bottom lip for a moment as he fiddled with the cap of his orange juice, hesitating just the slightest before opening his mouth, “It’s this guy called Hux,” He admitted quietly.

“Hux? Is that his first name or last name?” Finn asked, suddenly getting interested in the conversation he had previously been indifferent to. He wasn’t Ren’s friend, he was Poe’s, so he didn’t particularly care for the other boy’s love life… Or life in general.

“It’s his last name, Phasma says he doesn’t like-“ Ren was in the middle of explaining for Poe had practically slammed down his can of cheap soda.

“You like Hux, that business man that comes in all the time? Isn’t he like thirty? And since when do you like guys like… _Him.”_ Poe rambled, albeit a tad too loud for the cafeteria which caused everyone to turn and stare as if their conversation was actually interesting.

Ren rolled his eyes and kicked Poe’s shin under the table, roughly, “Shut the fuck up, Dameron,” He practically growled, “I _knew_ you were gonna act like this,” He muttered, pushing the brown paper bag back towards him and all but storming out of the cafeteria as everyone watched.

Pushing his way out of the double door of the cafeteria, Ren could hear the sound of someone following him and, assuming it was Poe, he turned around to face whoever it was. He was shocked to find out it was actually Snoke who had decided to follow him out to the empty corridor but he didn’t allow it to show on his face. Snoke fed off of fear. He was disgusting.

Ren leaned on the wall as he fixed his bag on his shoulder, “What do you want, Snoke?” He asked, keeping his voice steady and uninterested, trying not to tense as Snoke drew closer.

“I think the answer to that’s pretty obvious, sweetheart,” Snoke responded in that slimy tone of his that sent a shiver up Ren’s spine. Disgusting.

“Me?” Ren responded, wrinkling his nose in disgust as he came closer, able to smell the gross stench of his breath already, “Sorry, not interested,” He said, pulling back the best he could with the wall behind him and wincing when his back hit the bricks.

“Come on, don’t be like that,” Snoke purred as he trailed his clammy fingers under the hem of Ren’s shirt causing him to shudder in disgust.

It took Ren all but five seconds to push Snoke away from him which was met with he was met with a punch to the nose in retaliation. He should have expected that, Snoke was known for not taking no for an answer but Ren couldn’t stand the feeling of him touching him for much longer.

“Fuck,” Ren cursed his hand going up to his nose which was, yep, pouring with blood, “Fuck you, Snoke,” He spat before practically sprinting away to the bathroom to get some damn tissues to clean the blood on his face.

Pushing his way into a stall he grabbed as much tissue paper as he could and pressed it to his nose, wincing in pain. He should go to the nurse but she would probably ask who did it and if that happened… Snoke would no doubt spin it around on him and make himself look like the victim. “Fuck,” He groaned, turning to look in a mirror and wipe away as much blood as possible. He couldn’t go to Poe, not after their fight, Ren was too stubborn to give in so easily to an argument. “Phasma’s it is,” He muttered to himself before huffing out a laugh at how ridiculous his friend’s name sounded when Ren said it with a, possibly, broken nose.

Ren took a lot of effort into sneaking out the back of the school so none of the other students would see him with a bruising nose or the drying blood on his hoodie. It was embarrassing enough that he hadn’t even defended himself against Snoke, the entire school didn’t need to know about it. Quickly, he pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind. Thinking about Snoke just reminded him of the disgusting feeling of the other boy touching him, it wasn’t pleasant and Renk did _not_ want to relive that moment.

Throughout the drive to Phasma’s house, Ren had tried to stop his nose from bleeding further but he was sure there was likely blood drying in varying places all over his face once he had parked outside the house. He hadn’t even bothered to check himself in the mirror, knowing Hux wouldn’t be home. It was the afternoon, business men usually worked during those hours, or at least Ren assumed that they did. He left his bag in the passenger seat of his car before pulling himself out, holding the bloody tissues to his nose as he walked up to the door and rang the ridiculous doorbell. Phasma had said it was Hux’s suggestion which hadn’t surprised Ren from the few things he knew about the man.

After patiently waiting two minutes for Phasma to answer the door Ren decided to ring the doorbell again, twice, only to be greeted by… Someone who was not Phasma at all. At the doorway, stood Hux who was wearing some cliché deep red and black silk robe as if he was some kind of Playboy – it would look ridiculous on anyone else but somehow Hux had managed to pull it off- and in his hand that wasn’t gripping the white door he held a fancy looking glass that most-likely had whiskey in it

Hux seemed to watch Ren with a curious expression, clearly he hadn’t expected the other man’s arrival and, honestly, Ren didn’t blame him. He had shown up unannounced after all. “Phasma’s not here,” He explained slowly, once he had finished looking him up and down.

Ren couldn’t help but shift self-consciously under Hux’s gaze, nodding slowly and shoving his hands in his pockets. Phasma must’ve been out on a date or something and Ren was slowly beginning to regret not heading home instead. “Sorry, I just… I’ll go,” He managed before turning on his heels to make his way down the stairs of the porch.

“Wait,” Hux called to Ren, after a moment of silence, which Ren had assumed Hux had closed the door during, and causing him to halt where he was, on the first step down, “What happened to your face?” He asked, which almost caused Ren to laugh. Usually, Hux was more subtle and… Elegant with his words, so he had suspected the other man must’ve been borderline tipsy.

Reluctantly, Ren turned to face the redheaded man, “Nothing, it’s no big deal,” He assured him, trying to force a smile before beginning to make his way back down the stairs.

“You should come inside,” Hux commented before Ren could move down the next step, “I can give you an ice pack or something,” He added, leaning partially out the door as he spoke to Ren.

Ren hesitated for a moment, his hand gripping the railing as he weighed out his options; go home and catch his father in the act of faking getting a job or spend time with Hux. Somehow, spending whatever amount of time he could with Hux seemed more appealing and so, he pulled himself away from the railing and made his way back towards the door where Hux stood to the side; allowing Ren to walk past him and into the house.

Once inside Ren toed off his ragged boots, knowing all of Hux’s house rules despite not knowing the man all that well. Phasma had insisted Ren learn all of them lest he doing something that pisses the red haired businessman off. He practically knew them off-by-heart at this point. As Ren reached down to pick up his boots and place them on the rack by the door, Hux batted his hands away from them clearly having decided he would be better at putting them away than Ren. On the rack, Ren’s shoes looked terribly out of place; his tattered boots accompanying Hux’s various business shoes and Phasma’s unnecessary and expensive high heels. As soon as Hux had decided that the shoes were in order, he led Ren further into the house. Somehow, it looked even larger on the inside and Ren was confident that two people did not need to live in a house as big as this.

“Wait in the living room,” Hux said in what was likely the man’s attempt at a casual tone but it still sounded as if it was an order to Ren; to which, of course, he obeyed all too quickly.

The living room had a polished wooden floor and large windows that were covered with blinds at the moment, a large flat screen was hung in the front of the room and a large couch sat in the middle of the room which was accompanied by a sofa-chair and a coffee table situated in front of them. Ren settled himself down on the couch, listening to Hux rustle around in the kitchen in the next room anxiously.

It hadn’t taken Hux long to return, probably just a couple of minutes, but with Ren’s anxiety at its peak it seemed to have taken years and when the redheaded man sat next to him, gently tilting Ren’s head towards with delicate fingers, Ren honestly believed he was going to die. Right then and there.

Carefully, Hux pressed a damp cold wash cloth to Ren’s face to wash off the dry blood that was still splattered over his skin. Ren had to bite his bottom lip to stop himself from wincing in pain as Hux reached the point of his nose that was bruising and earned a gentle hush from Hux that made the other man’s stomach flip in the best way possible. As Hux ran the cloth slowly over Ren’s lips he could hear the raven haired man’s breath catch in his throat, Hux’s eyes darting down from Ren’s bruised nose down to his lips.

Quickly, he pulled his gaze away and placed the cloth down at the coffee table in front of them, grabbing the ice pack instead. However, instead of just handing the pack to Ren and allowing him to put it on himself Hux had decided to make the foolish mistake of almost caressing the other man’s face and placing the ice pack on his nose. He watched as Ren winced and squeezed his eyes shut, admiring the man’s features as he licked his lips subconsciously.

When Ren opened his eyes, they were tearing up the slightest and Hux couldn’t help but find him absolutely beautiful and he found he couldn’t help himself. As if in slow motion, his hand dropped the ice pack down onto his lap whilst the hand that was caressing Ren’s cheek finding its way into his hair and pulling him into a kiss. Thankfully, before Hux could regret his decision, Ren returned the kiss with an amusing amount of eagerness that caused the kiss to grow a tad messy.

Gingerly, Hux gave Ren’s hair a slight tug and nipped his bottom lip, resisting the urge to smirk in success when a soft moan left the younger man’s lips as he slowed the kiss down. He moved slowly and precisely, moving to straddle Ren’s lap as his free hand joined the other in tangling itself in his curly dark hair that was softer than Hux had originally assumed.

Reluctantly, he pried himself off of Ren’s lips as he tried to catch his breath, only now registering the hands that were gripping his hips and the way Ren was staring at him. Before panic could creep up on Hux and cause him to push the other man away and out of the apartment Ren captured Hux’s lips in his own once more, this time following the redhead’s lead and taking his time and _God._ How was Ren so could at _kissing_? And yes, Hux’s mind was trailing away to thoughts of what other amazing things Ren’s lips could do which caused him to let out a muffled moan into the other man’s mouth.

Slowly, Hux trailed one of his hands down Ren’s chest, letting out a breathless sound as the other man pulled him closer so that their hips were flush against each other. Once Hux’s hand had reached the hem of Ren’s hoodie, he tugged at it before breaking the kiss to pull it off and tossing it to the side. He took a moment to look over Ren, licking his lips subconsciously before pulling Ren back into a deep kiss, trailing his fingers over his abdomen teasingly and smirking against his lips at the small whine that left the other man’s lips. He was too far gone to go back now and the copious amount of whiskey he had been drinking definitely helped supress the guilt he should have been feeling; though he was sure that would come back and bite him in the ass sooner or later.

Without breaking the kiss, Hux began to slowly unbutton Ren’s jeans trailing his fingers over the bulge in his pants as he took his time unzipping the jeans, savouring the sounds of the younger man moaning into his mouth. As the redhead slipped his hand under the waistband of Ren’s boxers, he hesitantly broke the kiss in favour of kissing down his jaw, towards his neck, humming against his skin as he wrapped his hand around Ren’s hard shaft.

Soon, Hux was stroking him at a steady pace, having to resist the urge to roll his hips in the hope of getting some friction against his own hardness. He wanted to make this good for Ren, he had no idea why, he hardly even knew the younger man, but something in him wanted to take care of him. He didn’t even care if he got off or not, the sounds that Ren were waking were reward enough and Hux couldn’t resist the urge to suck a deep bruise onto what he found was the sensitive spot of his neck and _Christ_ the moans the younger man had made as Hux marked him echoed throughout the house. He’d never been with someone so vocal.

Unfortunately, it ended almost as soon as it started, which wasn’t surprising as Ren was only eighteen. Ren had come with a cry of Hux’s name which was definitely something the older man would save in his memories for a lazy day. As Ren came down from his orgasm, Hux brought himself away from his neck and pulled him back into a lazy kiss as he slowly removed his hands from the other man’s jeans.

He pulled back as he felt Ren’s hand slid up his thigh, quickly gabbing him by the wrist and looking at him properly. The young man’s hair was a mess due to having Hux’s hands in it and his already full lips were swollen from the red haired man nipping at them – He was completely wrecked and it was beyond attractive.

“You should rest,” Hux breathed out, a bit too quickly before scrambling to get off of Ren’s lap. He fixed his robe before picking up the bloody hoodie he had tossed onto the other side of the couch, ignoring the hurt expression on the younger man’s face. “I’ll wash this for you, it should be clean once you wake up,” He commented before swiftly leaving the room and towards the kitchen.

He shouldn’t have done that. It was a mistake, a good mistake, but a mistake nonetheless and holy s _hit_ what if Ren told Phasma about what had happened. Hux chewed his bottom lip as he shoved the bloody hoodie into the washing machine, adding detergent and turning it on as he berated himself. He needed something to drink.

He waited for half an hour, in the kitchen now drinking straight from the bottle of whiskey, before he returned to the living room with a blanket for Ren. He wasn’t tipsy anymore, now he was totally out of his mind drunk and almost stumbling over his own feet. Slowly, Hux made his way to where Ren was fast asleep on the couch and covered him with a blanket. Ren looked peaceful, in his sleep. He always had some hard expression as if he was going to murder someone or as if he had something to prove to everyone; though he always looked at Hux differently, as if he hung the stars and moon himself. He had to snort out a laugh at that thought. Clearly Ren didn’t know Hux and if he did, he doubted the younger man would look at him the way he does.

Without thinking, Hux leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Ren’s forehead, the alcohol in his system making him unable to stifle a smile at the small sound the raven haired man made in response. Swiftly, before he could think anything else of Ren, he made his way up the stairs towards his room to pass the hell out, very much not looking forward to the hangover that was likely to follow when he was to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so patient with me~ I haven't updated in so long because I keep getting sick and also writers block is a bitch. Also, at one point my laptop crashed when I was in the middle of writing this chapter and I lost over 1,000 words of writing which was very frustrating. 
> 
> I hope this smut was also acceptable and I promise it will get kinkier but Ren is a virgin boy so he'll have to be eased into it. 
> 
> As always comments are appreciated as it really motivates me to keep up with writing things and if you wanna talk about kylux, give me prompts or other things my twitter is droidfucker and my tumblr is renamidala <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully this fic will be very long! I hope you enjoy it and if you wanna contact me my twitter is droidfucker and my tumblr is renamidala~ the title is the name of a siouxsie sioux song


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